Let’s Get Rid of Mom Guilt
Showing up in life as a mother, wife, and business owner is essential. But, you can’t forget to also show up for yourself. I am going to bet, that if you are a mother or a wife or both, you have surely felt guilty in the pursuit of your personal dreams. If you haven’t, then surely you’re a rare bread. Because Mom guilt is a reality that many of us face. It is something I use to struggle with on a regular basis. And if I’m not careful can creep back into my everyday in an instant. However over the last nine years I have experienced a ton. And I want to start using my platform to open share what I’ve learnt through these years while navigating a life of balance and happiness. In hopes that my words meet you with some courage and clarity on your own personal journey.
Here is the truth about being a woman; we wear too many hats and that gets overwhelming real fast! We work, we take care of our children, and many of us take on most of the household chores also. Like cooking dinner, grocery shopping, errands, keeping the house in order as well as ensuring everyone has clean underwear. Am I right? These are just some of the glorious tasks of being a working woman with a spouse and kids that count on us.
I’ve spent the last nine years focusing on growing this photography business while doing multiple other things at the same time. I know what it feels like to hustle after your dream while working another job. I can tell you of a time I use to schedule my vacation days at my other job only to book work for my business. Surely I don’t need to tell you how tiring it is to be a new mom. But I can tell you that having a newborn baby and still shooting weddings full time is completely exhausting. Having your child home with you full time and being full time with your business usually means working insane hours. Finding yourself up into the night in your home office while everyone else is asleep.
Any of that sound like a close definition to the life you’re living right now?
This has been my life the last nine years. A balancing act of sorts between my family, my business and finding time for myself again. And whatever your situation personally looks like, I bet we share mutual feelings of tiredness, guilt and confusion. If you’re finding yourself feeling this way in your personal pursuit of happiness, then it’s time to navigate your life in a different direction girl friend. Here are a few steps I take to help remove the guilt.
Make time for the things you love!
When I am feeling guilty for taking time for myself, I list the benefits that this time will have on my family and business as well. A healthy wife who ensures her physical and mental health are taken care of is a more loving, confident spouse. A mom who takes an hour to attend yoga or sit in meditation is a more attentive mom. A woman that is well rounded, happy and balanced is a better business owner.
Nurturing my own self love, self improvement and overall happiness is something I focus on daily as a way to pour a little love on myself. I emphasis on the importance of taking time everyday for exercise, proper nutrition and practicing my spirituality as a way of seeking personal fulfillment. In taking this time for myself and stepping away from all my ‘tasks’ I feel balanced and I can better serve those in my everyday life. My husband, my son and my clients.
You see, working on this business is something I love doing and I feel fortunate to be a woman working from home. The flexibility of this career has afforded me the time to truly treasure those early years of my sons life. Time I will forever feel fortunate I got to be present for, every single day. But I am much more than just a wife, mom, and business owner. Although each of those three things occupy a huge sliver of my heart, I am a woman who has a love for healthy nutrition, a good yoga practice, boxing lesson, reading good literature, and so on. I need to take time to enjoy these things or I’m just a grumpy mess and thats no fun for anyone.
So start by listing the things you really love and then ask yourself if you are making enough time for those things.
You have to set boundaries with yourself, your kids, your partner, and your business. Some stay at home mom’s sole focus is pouring all of their time and energy into stimulating their children and their partner’s lives. These women are great moms! But, if they set boundaries with that and set aside time for themselves, they could live much healthier happier lives. Who doesn’t want to be healthy and happy?
Don’t forget to strategically schedule the time to work on your business as well. Have hours specifically set for your email, client work and office tasks. Spending all hours into the night on your business will wear you out so fast. Set boundaries around your business as well or it will consume your time.
Give and Take
Getting your partner on board with your dreams and goals is going to be crucial to your success. If you don’t have their support, that is very crushing and needs to be addressed first. But chances are you have a better support system then you give them credit for. It may just require having an in depth conversation with them about the importance of giving each other this mutual respect.
Then, be ready to give and take when it comes to time for yourselves. Give your partner the same time to step away because they also deserve it. For example, my husband plays basketball two nights a week and I love that he takes that time outside of our home. Allowing himself to focus on something that he loves and is solely his. We both agree on giving each other this time for our personal time and activities.
Setting this time aside in our marriage helps ensure we aren’t losing ourselves. It also provides us with something to chat about, feel excited to learn and grow and allows us to feel energetic to achieve.
For more tips on how to give and take and learn to live in a harmonious balance of happiness, sign up here.